Addiction

What is addiction? How do we recognize when we're addicted? What to do then?

 "Addiction is a condition that results when a person ingests a substance or engages in an activity that can be pleasurable, but the continued use of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life, responsibilities, such as work or relationships, or health. 
Users may not be aware that their behavior is out of control and causing problems for themselves and others." ~ Psychology Today

Common And Seemingly Uncommon Addictions
When you are sad, bored, or depressed, do you go shopping?  Rather than looking at what you can acquire, look for what you can let go of.  When I let go of something physical, mental and emotional "space" are cleared. It's as though by letting go of a thing, I have more of me! "Less is more". I feel more relaxed and inspired.
 
When you travel, is there some element of escape from your life? Do you give yourself permission for activities when you travel, that you don't allow yourself in your daily life?  What does this say about your daily life?
There's a scene in the Star Trek movie "Insurrection", when the crew of the Enterprise visit a planet where the people have the capacity to travel anywhere in the galaxy but don't. When asked why, one of them replied "Where would galactic travel take us, but away from here?" Sonoma County is this way for me.

We are led to believe that for us to be happy, we must have entertainment, adventure. Yet, these activities are only temporary retreats from what I call our "default state": the experience of ourselves and our lives that is most common to us.

Dependence On Making Others Dependent On Us
We may not recognize when we are attempting to lure people into a dependency on us. When we can create this dynamic, we feel a temporary sense of power; one that likely turns to emptiness. Reflecting on a significant relationship in your life, please take a moment to answer the following questions. As writing is so revealing, you may wish to write your answers.
In this relationship:
Are you looking for a certain kind of attention? What kind? Why?
Are you in a power struggle? What is the nature of this struggle?
Are you making them your "project? What are you looking to change in them? Why?
Do you feel yourself to be a better person when you're with them? How so?
Do you look to them for permission to behave a certain way or engage in a certain activity? What way/activity?

When in relationship, we often pick one of two polarities. Call them high/low, good/bad, empowerment/dis-empowerment, right/wrong, deserving/ undeserving. I have chosen all those roles many times throughout my life. When I have chosen the "high", "deserving", or "good" polarity, I put on a persona to match that. I talk the "high" or "good" talk, while hiding those aspects of my life I think the person I'm relating to will disapprove of.   As a child, I assumed the belief that I was a "good, loved" child. So, as an adult, I have  tried to place myself into the "good" polarity.

Addiction To Emotions
Often, our first reactionary emotion is anger. We believe that this makes us powerful and will frighten our "opposition."  We feel adrenaline moving through us, our hearts beating faster, the blood flowing faster, providing more oxygen to our bodies. Through this, we know we're alive. From this perspective, being peaceful is somehow associated with weakness. Yet, we are our most clear thinking, centered, and strong, when we're peaceful. We are more aware of our surroundings and other people. We are more aware of what is authentically true for us. True strength is accessed through a still mind.
When wallowing in sadness, we can find further evidence as to how we are alone in the world and how "nothing goes our way." We sink into depression and see a world filled only with loss and heartbreak.
When we allow our fear to influence us, we make our choices from a sense of inferiority; from a subconscious belief  that we are not deserving of love and success in our lives.
Allowing our emotions to influence our choices perpetuates this self imposed scale of deserving-not deserving, superior-inferior, worthy-not worthy, good-bad, acceptable-not acceptable.

Addiction To Thought
Thoughts are our constant companion, whether we like them or not. Even when our thoughts are distressing and worrisome, there is a familiarity with them. We believe it's our thoughts that remind us that we're alive.       "I think, therefore I am." ~ Rene Descartes
Our lives revolve around thoughts such that we believe that without them, we are somehow lifeless and purposeless. We have become so addicted to this belief that we may never even question the value of thought. This is our most basic addiction. The one that leads to all others. When we deal with this addiction, all other addictions and in fact, our very existence, is positively influenced.

"I am not my thoughts, emotions, sense perceptions, and experiences. I am not the content of my life. I am Life. I am the space in which all things happen. I am consciousness. I am Now. I Am."  ~ Eckhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks


Beyond (or behind) our thoughts, there is an awareness that has always watched the drama of our lives. It's like a screen upon which the movie (thoughts, emotions, even our dreams) is projected. Although this "screen" (this awareness) remains free from what is projected upon it. In Eastern Mysticism, this awareness  is called the "witness". I consider this "witness" our doorway to Infinite Life

Notice when you are focused on creating or giving, how you have fewer thoughts about yourself, about what you can get from another (no greed or manipulation); no thoughts of hiding or defending. In fact, there are fewer thoughts altogether!
 
Becoming Aware Of Addiction

One great dynamic to reveal our addictive tendency is in the drum circle. When playing a rhythm, we often experience boredom (just like life, when in a repetitive cycle) This boredom may also be experienced as a frustration and an increasing desire for a change: speed up the tempo, add some more parts to the rhythmic pattern, something! It's this very boredom (both in the drum circle and in life) that leads us to try to find something to "fill our consciousness." When one stays with this boredom, not trying to change or minimize it, but accepting it, the boredom gives way to deeper peace and joy. Sit with your boredom, let it build within you, breathing deeply as you do. Let go of results and time, of doing of any kind and just sit. The boredom will pass when you have fully accepted it. When I do, I experience a peace and joy as sweet as any entertainment or adventure. This peace is available 24/7.

Freedom From Addiction
I love to quote Joseph Campbells pithy, poignant, phrase; "Follow Your Bliss". Like the bumper sticker says: "If it ain't fun, don't do it".  I believe the essence of why we fall into addiction is that deep down we know this exquisite Bliss is within us: that it is in fact, who we are. But since we are so addicted to thought, we use our thoughts to find it. We look to externals to experience it. It ain't there.

Follow your bliss. What do you love to do?
Following my Bliss, my entire life has changed. I do work that I love, I live with people that I love, and have learned how to return to love when I have entered conflict. Follow your bliss long enough, and your life becomes filled with inspiration and passion.

Do you feel stuck in your life? Do you have concerns in a relationship or.feel weighted down by  addiction?
Do you want to experience the wealth of strength and joy within you?
It is my profound honor to assist you through whatever passage you are traversing, to a deeper awareness of your innate worth, and the recognition and expression of your unique gifts.
Visit my web page; www.SaharPinkham.com.
On Facebook: Sahar Eric Pinkham
On YouTube: SaharSound

I wish you Peace.

Parenting

My Story
One week after I graduated from high school, I moved into an ashram (the Indian equivalent of a monastery). I wanted to experience the Truth of my existence. Also, if my parents relationship was any clue to marriage, I wanted to get as far away from that as possible. I saw marriage as a death of sorts, filled with repression, dishonesty, drudgery, and pain: lots of pain.

In addition, I saw raising children as a further step into this "hellish" realm.  Children would only add chaos to the picture, exacerbating this horror. I believed that all things joyous and free were not to be found as a spouse or parent. So, I traveled down a path of celibacy and monasticism for 6 years.

Even with this strong fear of relationship, I met my first wife in the ashram and we were married within a year. Six years later, we had a son. For the first few years of his life, I feared his dependency on me would exclude all life outside of taking care of him and working. I believed that for the next 18 years, I would have no freedom. No time for me.

This fear that we'll lose our freedom, upon having a child, is common among new dads; one that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. We transfer our fears of parenting onto our children and our lives, creating a life of drudgery. We tell ourselves that our children are in part, the cause of this drudgery. "If it weren't for them, we wouldn't have to work so hard, so long". We may find ourselves regretting time with our children, while waiting for a few "precious" moments to ourselves. I call these thoughts "what about me"?!

Fear Turns To Guilt
During my first sons teenage years, I felt much guilt, that I had been so distracted by my fear, during his early years.
This guilt lead me to not be clear in my relationship with him. I would invite him to participate with me, in activities that he wasn't interested in and then I'd be disappointed/ sad when he didn't want to join me. I would take this as a rejection. My decisions were clouded by my guilt, such that I couldn't see that he just wasn't interested. What a tangled web we weave!

These fears of marriage and parenting were the phantoms from my own childhood, continuing to haunt me. I was raised in a home where we children were often separate from our parents. When our father (who worked long hours) arrived home, we weren't allowed to be with him, or my mother. They went into the den, closing the door. When we wanted to be with them, we would knock on the door to the den and wait for a "yes" before entering. We'd stand in the doorway, ask our question(s) (usually rehearsed), receive an answer, and then leave, closing the door behind us. Formal, impersonal, and cold.

"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." ~ Albert Einstein

How remarkable that the very lifestyle that I feared most is the one that has encompassed over 1/2 of my life!  When we invest energy into pushing something away (in this case, marriage and kids), we give it energy. To the extent that we reject anything is the extent to which it stays with us! Think of yourself as standing inside a big rubber band. As you push against one side, you are met with the same force. The more you push it away, the more force there is on you.

Healing Your Inner Child
To recognize just what "wounds" you are bringing into the present, take a moment and recall the most painful memory from your childhood. Bring that memory fully into your minds' eye. Place yourself into that scene. As you are reliving this scene, what do you feel? Sadness, fear, anger? The extent to which you feel these emotions is the extent to which that experience still colors your life today. I invite you to give yourself a few minutes for the following exercise. It may assist you in freeing yourself from the influence of your past.
Imagine the child (who was you, from that memory), standing in front of you. See them feeling all that you felt in that scene. Take a moment for this.
Imagine centered in your heart, a brilliant colored light. Let this be the 'Light of your inner Love'. Breath in this Light and let it fill you. Send a steady stream of this Light to the heart of this child. See them receive it. See them fill with gratitude, and peace. See this Light fill their chest. See them rejuvenated by this Light of your Love, as though they are receiving the most enlivening Nutrition. See Joy fill their being. See them feel Inspired, Creative, and Loving. Do this now.

As you send this Light to them, take this moment to tell them whatever you are inspired to say. Reassure them that you are aware of them and their needs: that you now advocate for them in every way. Take a moment for this.

Now, see in their heart a brilliant, colored Light of Love. See a steady stream of Light and Love extend from their heart to yours. Allow yourself to receive it fully. Let it fill you as they have just been filled. 
Now envision a flow of Light and Love from your heart to theirs and from their heart to yours. Take a moment for this..

You may wish to imagine taking them in your arms: feeling the warmth of their little body against yours. You may then wish to create a beautiful, sacred spot for them in your heart. Place them there, surrounded by your Love.

Every time you find yourself in the influence of these past hurts, remember this child and send them Love.

The Gift Of Parenting
I see parenting as a journey of clearing the path before us, so that we may see the "path" that our children are on, not the one we think that they should be on. Whatever unhealthy beliefs and behaviors from our childhood, that we carry into our parenting, our work is to free ourselves from allowing it to influence how we see and therefore parent our kids. Our work is nothing short of completely freeing ourselves of these influences, that we may see our kids clearly: that we may no longer see that there is anything at all that we need to change in them. In so doing, we see our children's innate ability to handle whatever is in their lives. They come into this world with the strength to meet any challenge. They come in with the creativity to rise and flourish. For example, infants are fully aware of what they want and don't want, and have no fear expressing this. An infant will cry until they are fed, changed, given a nap: until the unmet need is met.

"Be The Example You Want To See" (from your children) ~ Mahatma Gandhi
The only reason that we see anything other than capable, strong, immeasurably creative beings is because of 1) how we have taught them, through our own unhealthy behaviors and more importantly, 2) we doubt our ability to support them in recognizing and living in their innate strength and beauty. Simply, when we recognize that within us is an infinite wealth of creativity and strength, we see it in others and support them in seeing it in themselves.
 The following applies to us and our kids. Read it once as it is, then replace references to you with your child's name,                                                                                 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marriane Williamson

Enjoy this adventure with my sons::https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwsaAT022Vc

                                                            My son's upcoming play

Meditation

Meditation is the uninterrupted flow of focused awareness.

We All Meditate
In every thing we do, is the opportunity to bring this focused awareness.
In fact, you are already engaged in some form of meditation. Just discover what. A few of the activities in which we experience this focused awareness are driving, gardening, cooking, walking, dancing, sitting, sex, playing music, exercise, writing, sports, eating, reading, crafting, building, drawing, studying, painting, cleaning, washing dishes: you get the idea.


Feeling emotion deeply is meditation. Notice how when angry, there are times when you have greater focus. Notice when you allow yourself to fully feel and express sadness, how much your mind is focused. When scared, to the extent that you just feel this fear, free of blame or victimization, do you feel alive. Notice also in these instances, just how quickly emotion moves through you, returning you to peace. Emotions are just "energy in motion."
When we allow thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations to be experienced, we are in meditation.

It's when we apply meaning and/or past associations to the experience that we think of the experience as "bad" or painful. In Eastern Mysticism, the distinction is made between physical pain, being a natural part of life and suffering, caused by our overlaying of stories/ meanings/ associations onto the moment. There's nothing to be done, but accept and feel "pain", but suffering, it is said, is optional. Suffering is a choice.
Another way of looking at this is that suffering is caused by the false belief that we are unlovable, no one accepts us, and that we're separate and alone. What I call our "what about me" fears.

Notice when you are in a focused awareness (or meditation) how you have no thoughts about yourself. No thoughts about what you can get from another (no greed or manipulation); no thoughts around why you should hide (there's nothing to hide); no thoughts about any need to defend (there's nothing to defend). There's no "what about me." Notice how you're experiencing a steady flow of focused attention on your activity and how good you feel. In this "flow" or "zone", there's no self-awareness, no separate self, no me verses anyone or anything, no "fight or flight".

"I am not my thoughts, emotions, sense perceptions, and experiences. I am not the content of my life. I am Life. I am the space in which all things happen. I am consciousness. I am Now. I Am."  ~ Eckhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks

The "Zone".
In one study of athletes "peak experiences" or the "zone", "characteristics included focusing on the present moment, effortless merging of action and awareness, loss of personal ego, sense of control, clear feedback, and an intrinsic reward system. Athletes recalled these special moments during sport participation as salient, highly valued and extremely meaningful.' This "zone" has been studied extensively in sports. while often missed in our day to day activities.

Meditation has it's formal practice as well. You may associate it with the following steps: sit up straight, in the lotus or half lotus position, place your hands on your knees or in your lap. Have a focus, whether it be on a mantra, a geometric design, your breath, or on a given location, like between your eyes or your navel.

When I studied formal meditation, I learned that meditation is one step in a series of steps. This first step being "concentration". I learned that the step of concentration is when one is attempting to bring focus to a certain train of thought, such as repeating a mantra. Think of the analogy of the meditator being like a carriage driver and our thoughts are the team of horses. I think of the stage of concentration as attempting to bring the horses (our thoughts) into alignment. Initially, the horses are heading in all different directions, not unlike an unfocused or confused mind. The next stage is "meditation". In this stage, the "horses" have come into an alignment. We still have thoughts, but we are not pulled in different directions by them. We are peaceful and somewhat detached. In this experience we're not lead by reaction, confusion, or fear. We are motivated more from peace.

                                         The "Pink Pig" family (last name Pinkham, you know)
Group Meditation
Ever been to a sporting event with thousands of people rooting for one of two teams? Quite provocative, right?  Lots of energy, lots of excitement. Whenever we are in a group with an aligned focus, our experience is amplified.  As the group aligns, we experience an amplification of the peace we experience alone. This is a form of group meditation. Take a look at these amazing results of studies documenting the profound effect on communities, of this dynamic:http://maharishi-programmes.globalgoodnews.com/maharishi-effect/research.html.

My favorite form of group meditation is as a drum circle. An amazing way to align our consciousness, while having great childlike fun. Take a look at this video of a drum circle I had the honor of facilitating:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYvIBpmEFZ8

Peace, Sahar

Our Fear Of Rejection

 Our fear of rejection: what others might think, say, and do about/ to us.

This fear leads us to behave in ways that we think others will approve of...
*because we are yearning for acknowledgement/ approval/ acceptance...
*because we're afraid that they will reject/ abandon/ even abuse us...
*because we fear they will validate our beliefs, that we are unlovable & unworthy.


Why do we carry this fear?
Is it a part of the human make up?
Is it genetic?
What is it's origin?

There's a story my aunt told me about a three year old boy. As she was visiting our family, the door had been closed to the children, so the adults could have their "adult time". She recalls witnessing this toddler lying on the floor, scratching at the bottom of the door to the room where the adults had gathered, hoping to get some attention: hoping to participate in their gathering, while not being an interruption or "disturbance".
Quite an ironic thing. This child, while just wanting loving attention, was at this tender age conflicted, because he also had been given the message that he was an "interruption" into his parents well-being. What to do?!
    
This child was me. Although, it could have been any of us.

As young children, we made significant decisions in relationship to the main authorities in our lives (generally our parents). These decisions were based on the degree to which we were loved and accepted as the unique, naturally gifted and beautiful beings that we are. With parents who were in conflict, we may have made decisions about how to behave in order to be safe. Thus began our fear of rejection.

Each decision was added to the creation of a "book", "written" by us. This "book" became our self image.
It is this "book" that is the source of our fear of rejection. This "book" is the only thing that separates us from each other, yet, all it is is a collections of stories with no real identity, no real existence.It's just stories!

These decisions/stories eventually lead us away from our natural state of authenticity and spontaneity, to believing that we had to determine our life's course based on perceived  circumstances. We shifted from an internally, freedom-based, proactive reality (experienced as "us as Life" or "us with Life") to an externally based, reactive existence (experienced as "us as separate from Life");  an existence of struggle, which is how most of  us live.

"Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure." ~Helen Keller

In my quest for self awareness, I explored how my childhood experiences and decisions have influenced my choices and perceptions in my adult life. I've recognized which choices were made from my fear of rejection. I then traced this fear to my early childhood: often, to within the first three years of my life. This allowed me to recognize when a current choice/perception was based on an early life decision,. Seeing that the present has nothing to do with my past, I could "place" that fear with it's origin, allowing me to see the present as new, with infinite possibility. I could now make a more loving/present choice.

In a hypnotherapy session, I regressed back to my birth. In this regression, as I was being held by the doctor, I had the impulse/ thought: "I am a man. I'm going to do this on my own".  This initial impression was as I grew up, solidified into my belief that I was an "island," that I was alone in the world, (not a part of Infinite Consciousness). It was me against the world: my survival was achieved through competing with others: my success was on the shoulders of others (not with others). I also learned that when I suffered, I should do it alone. I shouldn't burden others' with my pain, they had enough of their own. No one would understand me anyway. Since these beliefs are solidified in our earliest years, addressing our fear of rejection requires us to forgive our parents. It helps to remember that all parents raise us with the skills they can access within them.

Notice how after  sharing the story of my wounding, not only are you not judging me, but that you are feeling compassion for me. When we hide any aspect of our lives, whether it's behaviors, our past, or our beliefs, vital energy is utilized in it's repression.This steals away from our physical and emotional well being and our clarity of thought. We look to others to love us, but when we live freely, we are loving ourselves. Living transparently is true intimacy. Think of intimacy as "Into me you see". When we live openly we feel a deep satisfaction, a sweet gratitude, and a sublime peace.

Sharing truthfully with another person truly "sets us free." I consider it the greatest honor for someone to invite me to bear witness as they explore the dark mystery of their inner world, especially their wounding, their pain. This invitation is their way of saying "I feel safe enough with you to have you "walk" with me into the valley of my inner darkness.: to support me while I explore my fear/pain/wounding".

When I recognize thoughts based on my fear of rejection, my desire is not to try to push them away or pull them in. Just to recognize them and give them no attention. Let them be a side show, while I make new choices based on my present reality. You've probably heard "What you think of me is none of my business." This approach goes a step further, to"what I think about me is none of my business."
Doing this, one becomes aware of "fresh" thoughts: thoughts that until this time have been shrouded by fear. These fresh thoughts guide us to our Highest Good.

Live large. Share your life with others. Share your stories. Because as long as you keep them locked up you won't know freedom. As you continue living openly, you'll realize that there is nothing within you (or anyone) that is worthy of our shrinking from life.

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate, is strength undefeatable." ~ Helen Keller
**********************
Do you feel stuck in your life either in relationship or by addiction?
Do you want to experience the wealth of strength and joy within you?  It's my profound honor to assist you through whatever passage you are traversing, to a deeper awareness of your innate worth, and the recognition and expression of your unique gifts. Visit my web page; www.SaharPinkham.com.

By the way, these great pictures are of my adorable son, Julian.

I wish you Peace.

Our Most Powerful Tool For Well Being & Happiness

Our Most Powerful Tools

As a hypnotherapist, I have supported my clients desire for greater health and well being, by showing them how they can better use their imagination. I believe imagination combined with intention, are possibly our most powerful tools for well being.

Intention
I often experience just how powerful intention is when I'm teaching a drum lesson. As my student is focusing on embodying the rhythm, I hold the intention that they are playing the rhythm with ease, their hands and bodies are relaxed, and that they feel the groove of the rhythm. As I place all my focus completely on them, it's remarkable to see how quickly they get the rhythm. What's also remarkable is that the moment that I'm distracted (I have a thought about something or someone else), they lose their focus and the rhythm! Without my saying a word, without doing a thing, they lost the rhythm!

We seemingly combined our consciousness, doubling our energy and focus towards their embodying the rhythm.

I encourage you to explore this phenomenon. Start with a loved one. Join with them in their focus as they are engaged in some activity. Watch what happens when the two of you are completely focused and what happens when you are distracted. Then bring this to other people: strangers, performers, people struggling. As you support these people, you are living the Golden Rule. You are giving them what you want: loving support. By giving it to others, you'll fill with the gratitude you feel when you receive support.

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited"  ~Albert Einstein
“If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it.” -William Arthur Ward





Imagination Combined With Intention
I'd like to share these powerful tools (of intention combined with imagination) with you, in a guided meditation, designed for greater happiness: yours and all peoples. I invite you to give yourself 10 minutes.
To set the stage, see that there is nothing in your surroundings that may distract you for the duration.

Start by holding the intention of harmony with all beings, with all life. This simple act may well be the most important step in this process
Make yourself comfortable. Close your eyes and breath deeply. Allow your breath to enter in through your nose, filling your lungs and abdomen. Exhale through your mouth. Give yourself a minute to slow your breathing to about one breath for every 30 seconds. Give yourself a moment for this.

Now imagine a beautiful light above your head. Imagine this light as the Light of your Higher Self. You may wish to give it a color. See it scintillating with Vibrancy. See It radiate out in all directions. Take a moment.

Now imagine a beam of this Light descends into and through your head, into your heart. See it grow in your Heart. See it pulsate with Life and Love. As you breath in, feel the elation and joy in your heart. Take a moment.

Now send a steady beam of this Light and Love to someone you love dearly. See this person receive this Light in their heart. See them relax as they breath it in. See it grow in their chest, reaching into their internal organs; feeding their entire body like the most real nutrition. See them grow in vitality and joy. Take a moment.

Now send this Light to the people in your life; to friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, community leaders. Send it to people with whom you are in conflict. As you love them, you are loving yourself. Take a moment.

If you find yourself questioning your right or ability to Love so large, consider the following words. "We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. ”  ~ Marianne Williamson

Now send this Light to the people in the world you believe most need it. Imagine it traveling around the world and raining Beauty on people everywhere. Swami Muktananda said "It's always raining Grace. You just need to take down your umbrellas". Imagine all people having "taken down their umbrellas" to deeply receive this love. Imagine the entire world in harmony, in celebration,  song, dance, music, and however you are inspired. Do this now.


Enjoy this.....
"Just imagine a world where there is no conflict, no selfish competition,only loving cooperation. Imagine a world free of pollution, free of want, free of disease, free of disaster. Imagine a world populated with smiling, laughing, happy, joyous people, all radiantly healthy, all abundantly supplied, all loved and loving. Get the feel of such a world, and put yourself right in the middle of it. Think of yourself as filled with life and energy and vitality, with a body that is strong and vibrant. See yourself surrounded with abundance and enjoying true prosperity. See yourself doing what you love and loving what you do, unbound and free. See yourself with the capacity to embrace and love and serve every single man and woman and child on this planet, regardless of who they are or what they have done and feel that unconditional love radiating from you to all, and returning from all to you. And then see everyone in the world as you have seen yourself in the ideal. Let there be peace in your heart, the excitement of victory in your mind, and joyous words on your lips."  Selamat Ja! Sheldon Nidle & Colleen Nidle

May all being be happy. May all beings know Peace.

Healthy Boundaries

We often create boundaries because we believe that we have something to hide, something to keep safe. In so doing, we create all kinds of walls around us, both figurative and literal, keeping others out. While simultaneously, we yearn for human connection: love. We look to the sky, telling ourselves that to meet beings from other planets would be the most significant event humans could experience. While here at home, we continue to keep secrets, to hide/ isolate and protect ourselves from each other. What to do?

Find Your "Spot"
In her book "Dance", Oriah Mountain Dreamer recalls a dance class she partici- pated in, where each participant was assigned a  "spot" on the floor. This was their "home base". They could breath only while on this spot, not while out on the floor, dancing. They could return to this place whenever they chose. When participants left their spot, they held their breath and danced.  Initially, people were hesitant to go far from their spot. But, as they relaxed into the reassurance that their spot was always available, they moved further away, taking progressively longer periods on the floor.

I liken this to how we are in our relationships. We tell ourselves that we first need to be and feel safe. We want to determine if the people in our lives meet our requirements for safety. In other words, that we feel comfortable and not threatened in their presence. Once this is established, we gradually reveal aspects of ourselves/our lives, to see how they will  react. If they are accepting, compassionate, and supportive, we continue to reveal ourselves. To  the degree that they show us acceptance and compassion, is to the degree that we allow ourselves to relax/open up in their presence. We then trust/hope that they'll continue to be accepting of these aspects of ourselves.

The Illusion of "Trust"
What do we mean when we say that we "trust" someone? Through our experiences with them, they have exhibited behaviors that meet our definition of "trustworthy". As long as they continue to behave within our definition, we'll "trust" them: we will feel relaxed/ safe with them. The catch here is that when we look for a person to behave as they have in the past, we compare their present behavior to their past behavior. When we have expectations on anyone's behavior, we're sure to be disappointed!

In truth, there's no trusting other people; just degrees of comfort with ourselves in their presence. Take this "trust" expectation off of them and recognize what aspect of yourself you are uncomfortable with, in their presence. The degree one is comfortable in the presence of another, is the degree one trusts their own ability to stay connected to their "spot", while in anothers company. Their "spot" being the feeling of peace generated by a comfort with the Life within us and around us.

The Healthiest Boundaries
In my time with Swami Muktananda, I had the profound honor of witnessing his capacity to remain completely in his "spot" at all times, with anyone. Because of this, he welcomed all people. Because of this, he had quite the motley crew in his inner circle. It wasn't just the "good" people, or the people who were on their best behavior. There were people hungry for power, fame, and money. There were people who were mean, aggressive, and deceitful. This was quite a wake up for me, as I had always prided myself on being a "good boy". I thought that attempting to wear a halo all the time would bring me closer to him and God.

Another teacher, Oriel, taught that within each of us is the potential for every human expression: from the Christ Consciousness (Unconditional Love) to the Hitler (hatred/ condemnation). In my earlier life, I allowed myself to feel and express only smiles and happiness. With the support of this teacher, I saw how I was denying an essential part of myself. I had tried to hide/deny/avoid my anger, grief and shame thinking that these were "dark/ low/bad" expressions of myself, only to learn that these are integral aspects of my humanity. It's not that there are aspects of myself that are bad. It's how I express them that can be either destructive or freeing.

I recognize that this entire spectrum is available within me. This is quite freeing.
To the extent that I am comfortable with this spectrum within myself, am I comfortable with it in others.

"I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it."
~ The Invitation, Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Just Say "No"
Having healthy boundaries is the ability to recognize what you don't want and express it. Simply said, the ability to say "no". But we often don't, for fear of rejection: what others might think, say, and do about/ to us.

We behave in ways that we think others will approve of...
*because we are yearning for acknowledgement/ approval/ acceptance...
*because we're afraid/believe that they will reject/ abandon/ even abuse us...
*because we believe/ fear that they will validate our thoughts/ beliefs that we are unlovable & unworthy.
These thoughts and beliefs dampen our natural ability to express healthy boundaries: to just say "no".

Abandoning Ourselves
Sometimes we say "no", but then if things don't go our way, we throw in the towel. We then say "yes", when we don't feel it. Sometimes we hope that others will just "read" us and know what we don't want. In fact, we even become passive aggressive when they don't!
I've heard it said that with children (as with adults), we may have to repeat ourselves 10,000 times, to get a point across. Of course, this is an exaggeration. The point is that when we are comfortable with the world in and around us, we advocate for ourselves, we speak what is true for us. This won't change just because the response we got wasn't what we wanted.
To not take personally what others think, say, and do about us is one of the biggest steps we can take to be free.

"I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul."
~The Invitation, Oriah Mountain Dreamer

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”  ~ Marianne Williamson

The Gift Of Drought

I've heard much talk regarding the devastating 
possibilities of a water shortage. In drought years, we lose crops, wildlife, forests...even our homes and lives. In this article, I look at how all our perceptions of drought are based on our own misguided approaches to stewarding the land. I will also share ideas that can help reduce this potential harm. To make the changes necessary, we need to recognize how seriously wasteful we are in our use of water.

Landscaping
We are so removed from the intimate relationship that life on this planet has with water, that we are increasingly inefficient in its use. Approximately 25% of the water used in the U.S. is used for garden irrigation. In the summer, the amount of water used outdoors by a household can exceed the amount used for all other purposes in the entire year. Many people believe that beautiful gardens and lawns require extensive watering, fertilization and pesticide application. As a landscaper for 30 years, I recognize that a beautiful garden can be had using as little as 4% of what we use today, while reducing pollu- tion, and protecting the environment. By installing drought tolerant gardens, 90% of this water could be saved for more personal needs.

Home Use
In our homes, we dump the valuable water from the sink, shower, washing machine, dishwasher, and the toilet. Using grey-water systems, we can send the water from the sink, the shower, and the laundry to the garden. This could cut  our water consumption by as much as 75%! Additionally, an average of 25% of the water used in the house goes to toilet flushing. This wasteful approach can be replaced with some age-old technologies, while saving big money and better stewarding our environment.

Today's sewer systems overflow, causing beach closures, the spread of illness and other environmental contamination, even in places that actually have sewage treatment. Fortunately, we don't need costly sewage plants or septic systems to render human waste into a harmless substance that, instead of being a problem, is a solution to problems of water shortages, water pollution, and reliance on chemical fertilizers. Instead of wasting precious resources, we can make rich humus and fertilizer from feces and urine!

Composting and dry toilets use natural processes to turn human excreta into a valuable soil amendment. They typically use little to no water. Collecting urine is a key step in recycling human nutrients. Urine contains most of the nitro- gen, phosphorus and potassium we release. These nutrients are the major components of chemical fertilizers, and urine is an amazing plant fertilizer!

 Rainwater Catchment Systems
*Rainwater systems provide a source of water where needed. 
*The systems are owner operated and managed.
*They provide an essential reserve in times of emergency and/or breakdown of public water supply systems.  
*They are built to meet any requirements. Poor house- holds start with a small tank and add when affordable.
*They improve the engineering of building foundations, when cisterns are built as part of the substructure. 
*Rainwater may be superior to groundwater or surface waters, that have been subjected to pollution.  
*Construction and maintenance are not labor-intensive.

Golf Courses
There are approximately 16,000 courses in the United States — about half the total in all the world.  The average American course uses 312,000 gallons per day. In Palm Springs, where 57 golf courses challenge the desert, each course requires a million gallons a day! That is, each course, each day in Palm Springs, consumes as much water as an American family of 4 uses in 4 years!

If golf course water came from recycled water sources, Americans could reclaim enough water to serve 55.5 million Americans! If you add in the water saved through the previous suggestions, 277.3 million Americans would be served! Water is definitely not in short supply. It's how we use it.

The Big Picture....
A Catalyst For Change
The possibility of drought brings people together. An article in Scientific American states "Human beings are fundamentally social animals and it is the protective nature of our social relationships that has allowed our species to thrive. Decades of research shows that social connection is a fundamental human need linked to both psychological and physical health, including a stronger immune system, faster recovery from disease, and even longevity".
 
The balance of our planets' air, water, and soil has been trashed. Fortunately, we are returning to being the stewards of our planet. As we align in this focus, greater creativity is being released. As we move seemingly closer to the "precipice" of environmental destruction. we are stepping out of our fear and isolation, into Love. The call to return to our Oneness has never been louder and our aligning in Oneness has never been faster.


We Are Realizing Our Dreams
In the "big picture", our bodies (even this planet) are transitory. This will all cease to be. The fact that we are One in Consciousness is eternal. I believe that we are here to return to that awareness. We have chosen to use this "play field" of Earth to come Home.   Welcome Home.

For Valentine's Day: Ready to LOVE Bigger Than Ever?

In this article, I explore ways we can open to and express Love

Relationships

We enter relationships for innumerable reasons. Most often, it's with the intention of getting certain needs met. Some of these are being understood, being accepted, receiving compassion, and companionship. To best get these needs met, with each person you are in relationship, I suggest you first ask yourself:
1) what do you want from that person?
2) what do you feel with this person?
3) what do you want to feel more of with them?
Once you have discerned what you want in relationship to them, turn that desire into an offering to them: a gift, if you will. Extend to them the very actions that may give them the experience you are wanting.  Because in the end, whatever need(s) you are attempting to get met, you'll do so by "giving unto others what you want to receive from them".

Whenever you meet someone (anyone), I encourage you to ask yourself one simple and easy to remember question; "Have I built a bridge to this person?"  In other words, "Have I walked in their "shoes?". "Do I have compassion and empathy for them?". "Have I applied the Golden Rule?"  As we apply this approach to relationship (all relationships), we create a "bridge". This bridge can be built from you to all people. The more bridges we create, the more we get our needs met, the fewer expectations we place on others, the less conflict we experience.  Eventually, creating bridges  becomes our natural approach to all relationships.

I encourage you to take this ideal to all of life. Animals and plants, vehicles, buildings, everything. As we create "bridges" to everyone and everything in our life, we see the Sacred manifest, as a continual stream of Beauty. We see the Hand of God weaving Itself through each moment.
The term "Namaste" expresses this. meaning  "The Light within me sees and honors the Light within you".

It's been said that there are two basic choices in life: to love or fear. We choose love because it feels better. We may fall back into fear, but as we keep choosing love, our "love muscles" strengthen to the point that we no longer choose fear. At this point, we experience the 'choiceless choice' to Love.

Intimacy

Traditionally, we have held that intimacy is an experience between 2 people. The sweetness of connection. The giving and receiving of touch, of loving words and sentiments. Seeing deeply into The being of another. Indeed, this is exquisite! Yet, we spend much of our lives in search of that person (or people) we believe can "give" us that experience. The great irony (and the great redemption) is that the sweetness we identify as the experience one "gets" in a loving relationship is completely available within us, in every moment!

I like to think of true intimacy as "In-to-me-you-see". To the extent that we allow ourselves to be "seen" is the extent to which we feel intimacy. It's an inside job. As we become comfortable with ourselves (our past, our addictions, our secrets), we have less to hide. With less hiding, we have less desire to find someone else to show us love. We are now loving ourselves.

To the extent that you no longer hide (your inner world is no longer hidden from your outer world), do you experience intimacy, moment to moment. Call it Freedom. The freedom to Be exactly who you are, at every level of your Being. A great spiritual teacher of mine Swami Muktananda, said "When every thought, word, and action are aligned, one experiences True Freedom."  That's Intimacy!

Recently, my son Elijah (precocious as he is) said "Isn't the word 'intimacy' "In to me I see"?  Haazzaa!!!! Out of the mouth of babes!  (OK, so he's 15 years old and almost as tall as me. But you know, he'll always be me baby)

Unconditional Love 

Muktananda was once asked "What would you do if I shot you right now"?  His reply: "I'd die loving you".
How can we open to unconditional Love?
I invite you into an exercise that will give you an immediate opportunity. Give yourself 10 minutes.
Imagine the person with whom you are presently experiencing the greatest conflict. See them standing in front of you. What do you feel? Don't push these feelings away, don't dwell on them. Allow them. Do this now.

I now invite you to recognize how this person is presently the greatest "Angel" in your life. Just by being in relation to them, you are aware of the area in your being where you are experiencing the most suffering. This is likely the area in your life where you are presently offering the least love. And if love is what you want, you can now bring love to the darkest place in your life. Right now. Are you ready? If so, continue...

Imagine centered in your heart, a brilliant colored light. Let this be the 'Light of your inner Love'. Breath in this Light and let it fill you. Send a steady stream of this Light to the heart of this person. See them receive it. See them fill with joy, gratitude, and peace. See this Light fill their chest, traveling out their arms, down their legs, and up into their heads. See them rejuvenated by this Cosmic Light, as though they are receiving the most enlivening Nutrition. See Joy fill their being. See them feel Inspired, Creative, and Loving. Do this now.

Now see in their heart, a brilliant, colored Light of Love. See a steady stream of Light and Love extend from their heart to yours. Allow yourself to receive it fully. Let it fill you as they have just been filled.  Do this now.

Envision a flow of Light and Love from your heart to theirs and from their heart to yours. Feel the gratitude for having loved. For having chosen the single most important aspect of life.  Do this now.

This Valentine's Day (and every day), my wish for you is that you choose Love. May this 25 minute video inspire you. http://www.forbiddenknowledgetv.com/videos/consciousness/a-message-of-hope.html If this link doesn't take you to the site, paste it into your URL.

Financial Concern

Are you worried about "keeping afloat"?  About how on Earth you're going to pay all those bills?
In this blog, I want to share with you my road to financial freedom. It may not be what you think.
In fact,  I invite you to allow for the possibility that you have been defeating your very desire of providing wealth and goods in abundant measure.

Review Your Definition  Of Prosperity

I want to start with what I think exemplifies this: the accumulation of stuff. Have you heard the quote "Possession is nine tenths of the law"? This is an expression from a system that I suggest, more often than not, gives more rights to those who "own" stuff, than those who don't. I suggest it's time we question our assumptions regarding possession/ownership.

When you are sad, bored, depressed, do you go shopping?  It may be the "American way". But is it yours?
When I'm sad or depressed, rather than looking at what I can acquire to give me a temporary lift, I look to see what I can get rid of. Inevitably, I find something that I'm ready to let go of. And when I do, "voila"! I feel more relaxed, peaceful, and inspired. When I let go of something, physical, mental, and emotional "space" are cleared. It's as though by letting go of a thing, I now have literally, more of me! "Less is more".
  Whenever you feel the desire to get something, I encourage you to slow this immediate reaction to run off and buy, buy, buy. Take time and inquire within as to whether you really want this. What is motivating your desire? Is it the fear that if you don't get that thing, (even food and clothes) that you'll suffer?

Deafened by the voice of desire
You are unaware The Beloved
Lives in the core of your heart.
Stop the noise and you will hear
His Voice in the silence. ~ Rumi

If you resonate with this at all, why not try a shopping "fast". Stop this process in it's tracks and only move when inspiration moves you. Only then. And when you are inspired, listen and follow the inspiration precisely as it moves you, kinda like Gepetto pulling Pinnochio's strings. Don't run off to the store. Let the inspiration take shape in you. Let it fill you with the joy of anticipation of newness, fun, and the knowing that this Inspiration (or Intuition) is guiding you, and in It's Time and while this is happening, you will discover that this thing will come into your life in perfect time.

We don't have to do a thing based on survival fears, or the resignation of "I owe, I owe, so off to work I go".  Allowing Inspiration to guide us is very FUN. We align with the "Infinite Knower", that consciousness that "knows" us way better than we know ourselves and that has in store for us a life that is more joyous than we can imagine in our wildest fantasies.
To have this, we need patience and trust. We don't need to run around collecting our nuts and saving them for those rainy days. When there is a need, no matter how big or small, Life provides the perfect solution. PERFECT.

Experiencing Real Wealth

Some years ago, I awoke one morning with an inspiration for recumbent bikes. I let this inspiration fuel me and guide me. One "door" after another magically opened. Synchronicity was afoot! As I "walked through these doors", an entire body of knowledge opened to me. I learned about a vehicle that is superior to any form of transportation on the planet!
As I proceeded along this road, everyone I spoke to who owned a recumbent LOVED IT!  I finally found the design that most fit my life style. Although, 80% of the recumbents in the world are in Europe, this one was designed and manufactured in Santa Rosa Ca.!  The means to have this bike came easily. This awesome bike is now my main source of transportation. In fact, I sold my truck 6 years ago! This has been a joyous "ride" ever since. I believe this has also made huge, positive impact on the environment. Just riding this awesome vehicle, people always smile. I smile, knowing that they are being exposed to a significant contribution to living in greater harmony, joy, and peace.

This story is just a snapshot of life. This Inspiration is always available to us and in every aspect of our lives, and in every moment. I invite you to switch your thinking from "how can I get___(fill in the blank: anything, money, sex, lodging, you name it)" to "how am I inspired right now?" The more you ask this question, the more inspiration you'll feel and the more you'll find yourself on a Magical Mystery Tour, filled with every experience you want, but better than you can possibly imagine.

Turning "Possession" On It's Head

Reflecting upon the ideals and technologies I believe can make the greatest contribution  to the health and wealth of humanity (while realigning us with our role as stewards of life on Earth), I came up with the following:

Hemp; the most versatile plant known, that feeds the soil, requires no chemicals, and little water.
Organics; pure, chemical-free, healthy, sustainable food and environment.
Bikes: the most efficient transportation, both healthful and zero carbon emitting.
Localizing: recirculate wealth into your community,while potentially drastically cutting air pollution.
Sharing: ensuring all people have basic provisions for life, while giving people dignity and  reducing crime
Veganism: the greatest single producer of Co2 is the production of meat. Honor animals.
Simplifying: reduce impact on the Earth and your psyche. Value life as it is.

Of these, I believe "sharing" is the most important. All the rest are an outgrowth of an attitude of sharing.  When we share everything, even the richest 1% will have more wealth than they do now! Everything will be available to them. Check out this amazing organization, that has outlined in great detail, regarding just how we can make this shift.  The Venus Project:  http://www.thevenusproject.com/about/the-venus-project

Imagine

Imagine there is no Heaven, it's easy if you try.

No hell below us, above us only sky.

Imagine all the people living for today.

Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do.
Nothing to kill or die for and no religion, too.

Imagine all the people living life in peace.

Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can.
No need for greed or hunger, a brotherhood of man.

Imagine all the people sharing all the world.

You, you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you will join us and the world will live as one.

 ~ John Lennon

What To Do

Each time a desire (for anything or anyone) arises, be aware of what you're experiencing. Are you anxious, bored, or desperate? If you are experiencing anything other than Inspiration, ask yourself  "Do I really want this?" Take a deep breath and listen internally for an answer. When you quiet your mind, you'll be aware of the answer to this question. It's always available. Until now, it has just been clouded with other thoughts that you have been trained to listen to first.  Eventually, you'll be able to discriminate between fear-based thoughts and inspiration-based thoughts by the joy and deep peace accompanying them.  Listen to those thoughts and enjoy the ever increasing Abundance Of Life.

My wish for you is not to "have a great/ awesome day",  or to acquire great wealth, or fame, or that your body be rock hard, with all the curves just so.
My wish for you is that you "have enough"...  that you "be enough".    Peace.

Accessing The Eternal You

Since our birth, there has been a "watcher" sharing our journey. Like a movie screen, it's the pure canvas upon which the "movie" of our lives is projected.  Like a movie screen, it is not the "movie". It is clean, pure, and free, of the movie. Any number of movies can be projected onto it, yet it has no sense of loss or attachment to any person, belief, dogma. tradition, or family. It is the only part of our existence that is constant. We're referring to this "watcher", when we say "I am". From the moment we're born, there is an "us" that we know. This "us" is still awareness, witnessing the drama of our lives, it witnesses even our mind. It is the only part of our existence that has not changed. Everything added to the statement "I am" has (and does) change. Everything.

Whatever we add to that statement changes and is therefore, not us. For example,  "I am Sahar". I've changed my name many times, although no one name is more "me" than another. Or "I am a man". How real is gender? Or our bodies, for that matter? Biology is sooo changeable.There is a species of frog (the "common reed frog") that has been observed to change their sex organs from female to male.This occurs when the population does not have enough males to allow procreation and is accomplished when a chemical trigger activates the sex gene to disintegrate the female organs and develop the male ones. Now that's a handy little trick!

To live fully in the Truth of our Being lies in recognizing these temporary phenomena and detaching from our identification with them. Do any of these lines from Talking Heads "Once In A Lifetime" ring a bell?

 "You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack

You may find yourself in another part of the world
You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife
You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?
You may ask yourself, how do I work this?
You may ask yourself, where is that large automobile?
You may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful house
You may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful wife

Same as it ever was, same as it ever was, same as it ever was

You may ask yourself, what is that beautiful house?
You may ask yourself, where does that highway lead to?
You may ask yourself, am I right, am I wrong?
You may say to yourself, my god, what have I done? 

Into the blue again, into silent water
Under the rocks and stones, there is water underground
Letting the days go by, into silent water
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground

Same as it ever was, same as it ever was, same as it ever was.

Transcend The Temporary

This song elucidates our external search: longing for the right house or car or wife. In time, we may recognize that those ideas we had of happiness, being sourced by a thing or person, were misguided. When we recognize how we have placed our focus in absolutely the wrong direction, we start to listen within. We find that there is a "silent water", that this water is the "same as it ever was". It is experienced as a blissfully still awareness. This "Water" is the Force Of Life within, and to the extent that we let go of the reins of our lives and allow ourselves to be inspired by It, does our journey down this "river of life" become more beautiful.

There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water. See who is in there with you and celebrate.

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally. Least of all, ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves!

Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary.

All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we've been waiting for.

—The Elders Oraibi
Arizona Hopi Nation

Join us in the ecstasy of song, today: January 29th, at The Center For 

Spiritual Living, Santa Rosa. This free evening of chanting will be from 7-8:30

Feeling Trapped Or Stuck? Ready For Freedom?

Ever feel trapped, like you have absolutely no choice? As though you're completely stuck in this addiction/ relationship/ job or life?  In this blog, I offer assistance in freeing yourself  from this "prison".
First, I invite you to consider that your present experience is a result of the way you think about yourself. Swami Muktananda said "The world is as you see it". Said another way: "You are the way you see yourself".

How Did I Get Stuck?

As very young children we made significant decisions in relationship to the main authorities in our lives (generally, our parents).  These decisions were based upon the degree to which we felt loved and accepted as the unique and beautiful beings we were. Each decision was a "brush stroke" in the creation of a "picture" that we painted. This "picture"  became our own self image.

With parents who were in conflict, we may have made decisions about how to behave in order to feel safe. These decisions lead us away from our natural spontaneity, to believing that we had to determine our life's course based on perceived  circum-stances. Eventually these decisions made up our outlook on life. From this outlook,(or  self-written "manual" for our life) we have learned to strategize and prepare to defend/ hide/ oppress/ or seduce and manipulate people and  circumstances. The extent to which we identify with our "manual"  (disallowing other possibilities of perception)  is  the extent to which we are invested in or attached  to specific outcomes. This leads to a life of expectation and disappointment.

In our first few years of life, we shifted from our natural state of being internally based and pro-active (experienced as "Us as Life"), to being externally based and re-active (experienced as "Us separate from Life" or even "Us against Life"). Consequently we frequently become complacent, living out an existence of struggle.  

Until we recognize this "manual", it will dictate our every thought, word and action. It will remain subjective and we will never question it's validity or whether we could choose differently from it. Fortunately, the more aware of this "manual" we are, the more objective it becomes, and the less influence it has over our choices.

Gaining awareness of the "manual" is key. How do we do this?

In a previous blog, I referred to the Vedantic practice of  "Not this, not this". The practice is one of recognizing all that is temporary (including the "manual"). Whatever remains is of a permanent nature and therefore, the Truth of who we are. It's about identifying our attachments and investments. To do this become aware

We can't command our love, but we can our actions.
Arthur Conan Doyle

Wisdom, Love, Our

It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.
Arthur Conan Doyle

Wisdom, Been, Things

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/arthur_conan_doyle.html#et2l3piypY2UvVmW.99

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Arthur Conan Doyle
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/arthur_conan_doyle.html#ShCEQ1WBCbvcXIyk.99

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Arthur Conan Doyle
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/arthur_conan_doyle.html#ShCEQ1WBCbvcXIyk.99

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Arthur Conan Doyle
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/arthur_conan_doyle.html#ShCEQ1WBCbvcXIyk.99

of the areas in your life where you want results. . The area of relationships may be the easiest to recognize where we are invested in results. Take a moment to reflect:...
.
Think of a person in your life and ask yourself the following questions:

Are you in this relationship to get a certain kind of attention?
What needs are you attempting to get met in this relationship?
Are you in a power struggle with this person?
Are you making them your "project"?...meaning are you invested in them changing or "growing"?
If so, what do you tell yourself will be your reward when they change or grow into the person you want?
Do you feel yourself to be a better person when you're with them?
Are you are looking for a certain kind of permission from them (for instance, permission to engage in a certain behavior or activity)?

Now, think of an activity in your life and ask these relevant questions:


Are you engaged in this activity because of what others have told you you should do?
To what extent is this activity an escape?  From what or whom?
Do you experience joy, vitality, peace, or love when engaged in this?
Or is it a promise of some later reward?.
Are you engaged in this activity because you are wanting for something / someone to change?
Are you engaged in this because it's tradition?
Are you engaged in this activity out of a belief that by doing it you are more deserving?

This is a process of recognizing all "self-generated" thoughts. Thoughts born out of the belief that you are separate from life, alone in the world, misunderstood, and consequently, that life is struggle. When you recognize these thoughts and no longer give them your attention, you then hear "fresh" thoughts, not based on reaction, belief, or history.  There is a deep peace and joy that accompanies these "fresh" thoughts.

One teacher of mine said,  "become aware of this "manual", don't try to change it, don't even try to minimize it. Just let it be." When I asked his awareness of the influence of his "manual" in his life, he said "Its  influence is like a fart in a distant galaxy"! He lived a life of great inner freedom. He was fun too!

OSHO ON WAR 'A man of peace is not a pacifist, a man of peace is simply a pool of silence. He pulsates a new kind of energy into the world, he sings a new song. He lives in a totally new way his very way of live is that of grace, that of prayer, that of compassion. Whomsoever he touches, he creates more love-energy. The man of peace is creative. He is not against war, because to be against anything is to be at war. He is not against war, he simply understands why war exists. And out of that understanding he becomes peaceful. Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will the war disappear.' OSHO, from: 'Zen: The Path of Paradox, vol II'

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- See more at: http://www.otoons.de/politics/hug.htm#sthash.L1h3DfiX.dpuf

OSHO ON WAR

'A man of peace is not a pacifist, a man of peace is simply a pool of silence.
He pulsates a new kind of energy into the world, he sings a new song.
He lives in a totally new way his very way of live is that of grace, that of prayer, that of compassion.
Whomsoever he touches, he creates more love-energy.
The man of peace is creative.
He is not against war, because to be against anything is to be at war. He is not against war, he simply understands why war exists.
And out of that understanding he becomes peaceful.
Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will the war disappear.'

OSHO, from: 'Zen: The Path of Paradox, vol II' - See more at: http://www.otoons.de/politics/hug.htm#sthash.aevFp3tf.dpu“A Man of Peace is Not a Pacifist” by Osh