In March of last year, my wife's best friend (of 45 years!) Melody, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The most deadly of all cancers.
Melody asked us if she could stay with us during her treatments and during this time of transition. We were honored to receive such a request and proceeded to create our home as a sanctuary for her and all those connected to her, who would be visiting and staying with us.
While with us, I had the honor of supporting her therapeutically. As a counselor and hypnotherapist, I supported her in delving into her psychological wounding. As we reflected on her relationship with her sister Dawn, it became apparent that for her, this relationship held more pain, grief, and shame than any other. For Melody, the enormity of this pain was so great, that she believed it to be insurmountable: unhealable. So much so, that she didn't want to address it.Yet, in the final stages of her cancer, word got to Dawn that Melody was dying and Dawn came to visit.
While with us, I had the honor of supporting her therapeutically. As a counselor and hypnotherapist, I supported her in delving into her psychological wounding. As we reflected on her relationship with her sister Dawn, it became apparent that for her, this relationship held more pain, grief, and shame than any other. For Melody, the enormity of this pain was so great, that she believed it to be insurmountable: unhealable. So much so, that she didn't want to address it.Yet, in the final stages of her cancer, word got to Dawn that Melody was dying and Dawn came to visit.
When Dawn arrived, we ushered her up to Melodies room. There, with Melody barely able to speak, they made eye contact, they held hands, they cried, and each said "I love you." I had the profound Gift of witnessing how this seemingly immovable obstacle to love, melted in a few seconds. Gone.
Replaced with, love and gratitude. Truly a miracle.
The only obstacles to love were Melodies thoughts about all the instances in her past, when she had experienced pain. She had decided that given these experiences, love was not possible.
She compiled these experiences into a "book" as it were, becoming a kind of "playbook" for relationship: a reminder of what was possible (pain) and what was not (love). But the moment Dawn showed up, the book vanished. and with it, the past stories of pain and victimization. In that moment, all she knew was love and gratitude. She needed to let go of that "book" in order to love.
She compiled these experiences into a "book" as it were, becoming a kind of "playbook" for relationship: a reminder of what was possible (pain) and what was not (love). But the moment Dawn showed up, the book vanished. and with it, the past stories of pain and victimization. In that moment, all she knew was love and gratitude. She needed to let go of that "book" in order to love.
Our present time emotional suffering stems from the belief that our present and our future will be filled with suffering, given our past. So pain is a "time thing." It only exists when we bring in the past hurts and overlay them onto our present reality. Whereas love is a "present thing".
In short, the only evidence for the existence of time, is the "
distance" we are from love.
Bon Voyage Melody.
distance" we are from love.
Bon Voyage Melody.
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