On 9/11; The "State" Of Affairs

As we witness our government consider going to war, people the world over are questioning the value and morality of this, and if this is who we are.  As a way of holding this stunning moment, I'd like to share a story.

Humans Growing Up

In the 50's we were like children. We lived with "Father Knows Best", both in our lives and on t.v. The male authority was God and we accepted that. We might have felt angry, scared, or alone. But, for the most part, we tried to put on a happy face, to give the impression that all was always fine. In the 60's we grew into our "teenage years" and rebelled. No way were we going to go along like sheep and say "yes" to our governments desire to kill and oppress. It was a time of acting out our anger and fear that had been building throughout our "childhood".  During the 70s and 80s, we grew into "adulthood"; we were waking up. We started questioning others motives. Reality t.v. became a hit, along with talk shows that dug deep into peoples personal lives. Gossip had come out of the closet. We took a long look at people we thought were different from us and realized that they're not so different. They have the same feelings as us, the same needs as us.

As we grew up, we went from blaming others to questioning our choices and our very existence. For decades we had avoided politics, accepting that all politicians were corrupt and since we told ourselves that we were not, we let them do the "dirty work". But we realized that we had abandoned ourselves by letting others legislate our lives. Because we did not hold them accountable, the politicians enjoyed the freedom to legislate as they saw fit. Not needing to listen to "the people" they were in bed with those who would further their agenda, while receiving lots of $ to further their insider friends agendas.

In the 90s and early 2000s, we brought what had been expressed in the streets in the 60's to politics and corporate America. Today, we continue our search "down the rabbit hole". We are digging deeply to understand just how far we have gone in relinquishing our own freedom of choice. We see the deceit and oppression of those to whom we have abandoned our free will and we don't like it.

As we dig deeper into our search for Truth, we see just how complacent and in denial we have become.  We now are taking a good look at who we are. We are hearing "not in our name" bandied about these days. We are reclaiming the power that we had relinquished so many years (if not millennium) ago.

We are reviewing every aspect of life, with the underlying themes of justice and equality. Every aspect of our existence is being examined as never before. From equality to environmental stewardship, to the birth rite of each person to choose their path. Every issue that had been in the "closet" is now center stage. So, of course, we are in serious reflection over our governments desire to attack Syria, Is that who we are?

I believe that we have chosen to recognize that we are one people, one family, in truth, one mind. We have chosen to awaken to this truth at this time, concordant with the massive changes we see everywhere on the planet.

The Catalyst For Change

The times in my life when I have awakened the most are the times when my survival was most at risk. In fact, to the degree that I was on the "edge" was to the degree that I recognized the beautiful gift that is my life, this world, and the people in it.

Beyond war, deceit, oppression, and our perceived differences is the very environment in which we live. The balance of our planets air, water, and soil has been trashed as we have abandoned ourselves. We are in a process of returning fully to being the stewards of our planet. As we are aligning in this one focus, greater creativity is being released. As we move seemingly closer to the "precipice" of environmental destruction. we are stepping out of our fear and isolation into Love. The call to return to our Oneness has never been louder and our aligning in Oneness has never been faster.

We are realizing our deepest dreams on the canvas of our planet.

In the "big picture", even our bodies and this planet are transitory. This will all cease to be at some point. That we are One in Consciousness; this is eternal. I believe that we are here to return to that awareness. I believe that we have chosen to use this "play field" of Earth to come Home. Welcome Home.

Still we see our human sisters, brothers, and our children being brutalized. This brings us to our knees. It breaks our hearts. What can we do, how can we "deal" with this reality?  Take every situation that occurs whether to someone close to you or with people elsewhere and make it personal to your life. Put your self in their shoes; both the perpetrators and the victims. "Walking" in their shoes, imagine what they may be experiencing and become clear as to what needs they are trying to get met. No matter which side of any conflict someone is on, in the end, they want love. The sooner we understand what is motivating them to their fight or flight stance, the sooner we have compassion for them.

Consider these lines from "The Rose";

"It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes a chance.
It's the one who won't be taken who can not seem to give.
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live."

Walking in the shoes of another, we understand their needs. The beauty of this is that by assisting them in getting their needs met, we find our needs met as well. If you want to receive compassion, offer it. Wherever and whomever they may be, walk in the shoes of all people. Discover the needs they are trying to get met and then go offer that very thing to someone near you.  This is one way to interpret "think globally, act locally".


 "Be the example you want to see in the world."
 ~Mahatma Gandhi

HOW TO HAVE A DEEPLY SATISFING RELATIONSHIP

If you want a relationship to succeed, you must be willing to let it completely fall apart.  

For a deeply satisfying relationship, we need to abandon all investment in our codependent ways. We limit our innate freedom by trying to be more appealing to others, so they will like/love us. We engage in  "strategies" so we don't have to feel our fear of rejection.
The closer we are to people, the more pain-filled our relationships tend to be. While in reality, what we want most for these people is their happiness. Just what we want for ourselves.  Ironic, ain't it?!
Usually, the closer we are to people the more emotionally invested in what they think and say about us.

Where are your "emotional hooks"?

Do any of the following statements apply to you?
"S/he'll never leave me because I pay the bills".
"If I reveal how much money I make, s/he'll want more".
"The kids need us to be together".
"I know his/her secrets. S/he'll stay with me because s/he can't bear the thought that I would reveal them".
"If I tell him/her the truth about (fill in the blank) she'll leave me".
"If I told him/her what I do with my free time,  I'd lose my freedom".
"Without me, s/he couldn't function".
If so, in which area of their life do you believe this to be the case?

Which statement do you identify with most? Write about recent times when you have had this thought; what you felt, thought, said and did. This may reveal to you how you limit your freedom in relationship.
Ironically, the strategies we believe will lead to a greater sense of security are the very ones that limit our freedom!!!
"Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."

Helen Keller

False Security

We invest sooo much in what others think and say about us! I love the quote "What you think of me is none of my business". To not take personally how others perceive us is one of the biggest steps we take in being free. Ultimately, we need to take this a step further to "What I think of myself is none of my business". Many of the thoughts that we have about ourselves drive us to be small, to let others determine our choices, to be on guard; to strategize just to survive.

Yet, all thoughts can be seen as clouds in the sky. You see the clouds floating by and recognize that they may be all kinds of shapes. They may be dark and filled with storms. They may be beautiful; heavenly in fact. Although, they are just floating by. They are not you.

Before we were aware of thoughts in this way, they were subjective. We never questioned their validity or whether we could choose differently. Our thoughts dictated our words and actions. Yet, the more aware of them we become, the more objective they are, and the less control they have. Eventually they become "Like farts in a distant galaxy". A teacher of mine said this. He also said; "As you become aware of thoughts, don't try to change them, don't even try to minimize them. Just let them be."

We constantly resist our thoughts. We create all kinds of programs and religions to change our thoughts. Remember that what you resist, has power over you. Just let your thoughts be. Become aware of them and their motivation. As you do this you'll free yourself from their sway.

I think of this practice of developing an awareness of our thoughts as one of the two wings that allow the "bird of relationship" to fly. Have an open, relaxed awareness of your thoughts, while placing your focus on what you truly want; your bliss, what you love. This is the other wing

Creating a bridge

I think of Love as a bridge that can be built, extending from you to other people. Whatever you want from them, as long as you offer it, you'll experience it.
All the reasons that we enter relationship (ie getting certain needs met, being understood, being accepted, receiving compassion, friendship,), can  be boiled down to one one easy to remember reflection; "Have I built a bridge to this person"?  Have I walked in their "shoes"? Do I have compassion for them? Have I offered them compassion and empathy?  In other words, "Have I applied the Golden Rule?" Give unto others what you want to receive from them. 

These two wings (having awareness of how I am motivated by fear and leaning into what I want (love)) define the basic choice in relationship; to live from Love or fear. As we develop our "loving muscles" we choose fear less and less. Eventually we no longer choose fear.

My teacher Swami Muktananda said; "we recognize that there is only one choice, to love or fear. So we choose love because it feels better. We choose love enough that we no longer choose fear. We no longer consider fear as an option. At this point, we experience the 'choiceless choice' of choosing only Love."

"Through intense, deep meditation, you should get into that state which is beyond
thought, beyond change, beyond imagination, beyond differences and duality. Once you
have begun to get into that state and can stay there…you will see your own Self in
everyone around you. Then the flow of love from within you will be constant and
unbroken."    –Swami Muktananda"