Do you ever just want to express your angst, your anger or frustration unedited in the presence of someone who fully accepts you? But, do you prevent yourself from doing this fully because you believe that by expressing these feelings you're perpetuating them, maybe even making them (and whatever issue you're dealing with) bigger? Do you then keep them to yourself? When feelings are not expressed, they become nagging annoyances. They fester and grow into dis-ease. Think of emotions as "energy in motion." They gotta be expressed. They need release. It's HOW we express them that makes all the difference. When we share them with the intention of getting others to agree with us, to support our position, we are gossiping. The more we look for collusion from others, the more intense and all encompassing these feelings become. You could see gossiping as one end of a spectrum. Next along this spectrum is complaining. When we complain, we may not be looking for collusion or even agreement. But, we may be indulging ourselves in our victim story or our righteousness. Here, the feelings may not become all encompassing as rapidly as gossiping. But they will continue eating at us. At the healthy end of this spectrum is venting. Inherent in the word is the idea that we are releasing. When venting, we aren't looking for agreement. We want to be witnessed. Our intention is to have whatever is within us expressed. Without venting, we as the pressure cooker, will explode (very messy). To vent with someone simply witnessing me feels awesome! I feel stronger and I gain insight as to how I can more deeply feel my emotions and express them. If you want to vent in a safe, supportive environment, where you are seen and accepted just as you are, contact me. I have a coaching practice in Sebastopol and in Novato. Follow this link for more details on my work with my beloved Ronit: http://www.communityacupunctureofmarin.com/blog/mindful-coaching-for-individuals-and-couples May the venting be with you, Sahar
Gossiping/Complaining/ Venting: Any Value?
Do you ever just want to express your angst, your anger or frustration unedited in the presence of someone who fully accepts you? But, do you prevent yourself from doing this fully because you believe that by expressing these feelings you're perpetuating them, maybe even making them (and whatever issue you're dealing with) bigger? Do you then keep them to yourself? When feelings are not expressed, they become nagging annoyances. They fester and grow into dis-ease. Think of emotions as "energy in motion." They gotta be expressed. They need release. It's HOW we express them that makes all the difference. When we share them with the intention of getting others to agree with us, to support our position, we are gossiping. The more we look for collusion from others, the more intense and all encompassing these feelings become. You could see gossiping as one end of a spectrum. Next along this spectrum is complaining. When we complain, we may not be looking for collusion or even agreement. But, we may be indulging ourselves in our victim story or our righteousness. Here, the feelings may not become all encompassing as rapidly as gossiping. But they will continue eating at us. At the healthy end of this spectrum is venting. Inherent in the word is the idea that we are releasing. When venting, we aren't looking for agreement. We want to be witnessed. Our intention is to have whatever is within us expressed. Without venting, we as the pressure cooker, will explode (very messy). To vent with someone simply witnessing me feels awesome! I feel stronger and I gain insight as to how I can more deeply feel my emotions and express them. If you want to vent in a safe, supportive environment, where you are seen and accepted just as you are, contact me. I have a coaching practice in Sebastopol and in Novato. Follow this link for more details on my work with my beloved Ronit: http://www.communityacupunctureofmarin.com/blog/mindful-coaching-for-individuals-and-couples May the venting be with you, Sahar
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